Be Better, Do Better... Or, the Pursuit of Happiness

If you don't think you are fabulous, if you don't have incredible confidence in yourself, you will never have the strength to go after what can make you happy. --Suze Orman 

If you asked me for a definition of "happy," I'm not entirely sure I would know how to answer. On one level, I understand that happiness is an emotion, a resulting feeling related to a series of events in one's life. Joy, I've been told, is an internal thing that can emanate from someone, on a deeper level than simply "happy." But I've been thinking a lot about this idea of confidence in oneself and its relation to happiness. (Should be obvious, given my last post about loving thyself). That's a crucial part of the puzzle that's been missing for me, the confidence to pursue the things that can make me happy.

I like lists and I need to have goals, so I've targeted three areas of happiness that I want to focus on over the next year (in order of importance):

• Love/Relationships
• Money Matters
• Weight Loss/Health

These three target areas have subcategories that under their purview as well as connections to the other areas, but as general titles go, those are the three places I want to be better, do better in. (Back to my mantra for 2013, see?). 

In Love/Relationships, I've finally discovered that I can't be everyone's friend. I have to be okay with letting people go and/or allowing relationships that are a 'drag' (emotional, financial or otherwise) fall to the wayside. I have to decide whether some relationships are worth the investment. And if they're not, I have to be okay with the truth that I can't be everyone's friend. I'm a good friend, I think, and a good girlfriend and a good daughter (even if I don't always feel like one). And so this year, I want to cultivate the relationships that I'm deeming worth an investment--those include my true friends, professional associations, my budding (is it still 'budding' 6 months in?) relationship with my boyfriend whom I'll call Captain on this blog, and my longstanding, difficult relationship with my parents. I'm going to try to post about these sorts of things on Mondays (yes, this means I'm trying to keep a blogging schedule). Since this will be the area wherein there might not always be a weekly update, I may make Miscellany Monday about goal-making and goal-progress as well... we'll just see how this rolls out.

In Money Matters, I want to be better about my finances. I've already decided on a path to take, but I planning is always a different beast than actual execution. Right now, my focus is not on the dream job I've got in my head because I'm still currently working on my masters degree. I will refocus on that when I've completed my academic studies. And in case you were wondering, the dream job is to be an author. My real day-to-day job is a stable, steady sort of deal and it provides me with enough money, yet I constantly feel like it's not enough. Why is that? Because I'm a spender, not a saver. I'm a lover of words, not a lover of numbers and it's made me resistant to planning ahead with my money. That's a terrible thing to admit, but it's the truth and I'm trying to change that now. With the realization that (a) I'm turning 30 this year, (b) I'm in this relationship that I feel is headed towards a strong/long-term commitment, and (c) other factors, I've determined that I'm not a kid anymore. I can't claim young, dumb, and innocent. I have to take responsibility for my finances and put myself in a better position for my later years (whatever may come--family, kids, a mortgage?). I'll go over my plan more in detail on Friday when I kick off my Finance Fridays posts, but just so you have a head's up: I'm challenging myself to stick very closely to a budget next month, and I'm calling it March Money Challenge. 

Weight Loss/Health has been another area of my life that's been a challenge for me. While I've made friends easily my whole life, and though I spend most of the money I earn (but I do earn it), I have always struggled with my weight (and as a result, my confidence in myself). I will periodically get on a roll doing something, and when something goes wrong, boom! I'm done. It's been this way with weight loss and dieting, and even with money, for most of my life. I'm tired of selling myself short in these areas. I want to be better, do better. And so, I've decided to return to the gym and to eating better/right. If I stop eating out so much, not only will I get the healthy benefits of preparing my own meals (knowing what's in it and maintaining control of the ingredients), I get the side benefit of saving some money. So, we're going to tackle this weight loss/health thing because I will never be in a better position to do something about this as I am right now. Right now, I'm young (under 30! Just barely), I have no kids (but that might change someday, and I don't want to have a difficult/complicated pregnancy), and dammit, I want to look good! (Side benefit: easier to pick clothes that will look good, and maybe save a little bit of money because sometimes buying bigger costs more.) I'll talk about my weight and my plan of attack more on my Wednesday Weigh-Ins.

So that's the deal, guys. One year (well, technically 10 months) of me trying to challenge myself to be better, do better so I can have the confidence to live my life to the highest potential of happiness.